3 to do things for a happier monday

Another Monday is here and more and more gist with most nine to fivers and even those who parted ways with the regular working hours, confirm just how much love they have/had for Mondays; almost zero. Mondays, unfortunately cannot be made to disappear. Even if it can, the following day becomes the new Monday! Same o’l crap, I know you are thinking.

Since we can’t work any magic to make Mondays disappear, we can try the following tips to help our Mondays be a little less foreboding.

1. Don’t leave ironing your clothes till Sunday evening. All that does is remind you of Monday and sort of extend your Monday into your Sunday evening.

2. Try not to over eat on the Sunday night so you don’t wake up extra heavy and sluggish on Monday morning.

3. Go over your grateful list for the out gone week and shape in your mind your desire for a much more desirable week.

Have an inspired week!

The greater horror – Boko Haram vs Ebola

After deciding to write about the two nightmares that have been bugging our minds and banging on the doors next to ours, figuratively speaking, I got stuck. What in the world was I going to write about that hadn’t yet been said or, as in this case, read?  Every Nigerian has an opinion of one or the other or both. Most of the talking or properly put, opinions, make as much sense as… (fill in the gap as you see fit) *shrugs*. And the mischief makers? They practical took the illiterate Nigerians and made a super mockery out of them. Or what can be said of a situation where Nigerians were asked to use salt and hot water to take their bath and also drink to prevent / cure a virus! Na wa o! At least there has been a little bit more enlightenment on that. But what about Booko, the term I prefer for the Boko Haram, menace?

Anyway, I somehow got back into the writing when I realised that the familiarity, or is it similarity, between both was just too much to be ignored. 

Firstly, they both got into the country with the government looking on as though they were guests bearing goodness for the nation.

BokoHaram – http://www.vanguardngr.com/2009/08/boko-haram-ressurects-declares-total-jihad/

Ebola – The first reported Ebola case in Nigeria was an imported case of a Liberian-American, Patrick Sawyer, who travelled by air from Liberia and became violently ill upon arriving in the city of Lagos. Sawyer died five days later, on 25 July. How did he even get into the country in the first place? What about health checks at entry points into the country, more so when there was already an alert of the virus in West Africa?

Secondly, they are both very deadly. Booko has the ability to move around with a bit of restriction because it has a face, albeit unrecognised by the authorities. Ebola, as insidious as Booko, is unpercevieable by the human eye unaided. The fatality rate is 90%.

The score card in Nigeria is:
Boko Haram – not less than 5000 between 2009 and June 2014

Ebola – 7 people, with unknown number who may have been infected, between July 20 and Sept 1, 2014

Thirdly, the Government is slow concerning responding to these anomalies or they are just undecided about what to do

Boko Haram – “Since Boko Haram’s resurgence in 2010, the Nigerian government has struggled to respond to the growing threat posed by the group.” (US CRS, 2014)

Ebola – http://www.usnews.com/news/world/articles/2014/08/05/nigeria-acknowledges-slow-response-in-ebola-case

And fourthly, the two have suddenly gained us un-needed notoriety for being both slow at curbing insurgency and generously allowing death join us for tea, or something close. A friend wants to visit Nigeria but has caught the cold feet bug after hearing that we already lost 5 lives to the scourge called Ebola.

I know I am supposed to be open minded and allow the government to make a response to these, but seriously I don’t want to hear nothing. I want to see. Just like I can see that the power situation has improved, even as I hope and pray that this is not because the rivers are full and they are able to generate substantial quantity for supply that would diminish at the end of the rains. I, and I believe a lot of other Nigerians, want to be safe in our country; protected by the government that is saddled with that responsibility under the constitution *sic* of the Federal Republic *sic sic*.

Enough said!

On a different note – the kind of news that comes to you on a Monday morning that a friend passed away early that morning just causes you to  rethink not on the essence of life alone but the value that this life produces when we still have breath. Sad that it takes something gloomy as death to help us realise the value of relationships, but that is how it is.

It is a great day. Make that call to that someone you miss or you have been planning to call for a while, or send a text. Take the time to appreciate one person. Remember life, no matter how long we may perceive it, usually ends without us having a chance to say a proper good bye.

Live life largely!

The ridiculous greeting!

I do take a lot of things personal!

Ehehe… funny way to start-off a post that’s meant to inspire your Monday. But truth is truth. Not like all stuff I take personal makes sense but there are some, ehn, that I will not understand. Sending a ‘hi’ as the beginning, body and end of you BROADCAST message and be expecting a response! That one pass ‘ajanaku ku mo ri nkan firi’. It is just like walking to to your veranda overlooking a market and shouting ‘hello’, I don’t know how many people would look at you and ‘hello’ you back. Speaking for myself, I will hiss and walk on, and in my mind give you a slap!

Brings me to another very serious matter. Most times when I see a greeting on my bbm or whatsap or any other of the very many distractions we have taken to to keep us connected to friends, family and business extensions, and it goes like ‘morn’ , ‘gm’ and the many variants, I just wanna dash that person a reset slap. Really! Please pardon me I am just speaking the wishful imaginations of my mind. Just say hi or hello, at least I am not under an illusion that you want me to respond to your greeting.

There’s just something about the “good” before the “morning” that makes me think that some thinking  went into the greeting. It makes me think, even if falsely, that this pinger woke up on the right side of bed and is worthy of a response. It just lightens the day!

Whether they mean the morning to be good for me or not, we’ll that’s another gist for another day, at that moment though I am satisfied with that simple courtesy of wishing me a ‘good morning’. Not just in the words, for words convey nothing except in the perception of what the intention is, but in the short affirmation that speaks good, now that is meant literally, into my day.

There’s something good hidden in the day. Be the first to speak it and make someone’s day lighter. ߘ

Oluwaseun

When things go wrong…

Hello…..

I missed writing in here for about two weeks now. What happened? Well I volunteered to mentor some young children at a teens camp for 7 days and it was intense. There was just no time to write my thoughts or anything even remotely connected to what I can put in here. And afterwards? I took a break. *smiles* A holiday of sorts where I simply did no writing I can post. If you want to read from that period though, send me a mail and I would be glad to send you my thoughts for your private viewing only. Hahaha!

I am back. And that’s what matters. Missed getting giddy on sharing my thoughts and thinking.

……….

Sometimes we get so hung-up on our pain we forget that some people are in worse pains than we are. And we lose all sense of being grateful for the other stuff that works in our lives. If by chance these people were ever to share just a teeny weeny percent of their pain with you, you would probably pass out and pass on to the great beyond (why ever it is called that though?). This came at me with more than a lil force this past couple of months, and i’ll share the experience with you.

So it started as just a soft solid mass in the orifice, that we open up only to the wc. I thought nothing of it except it was only a bruise from heavy stooling (one lesson learnt is drink plenty of water and never over push doing the number 2). But it didn’t go away. Rather it got bigger and it became a nuisance. Still I kept it to myself. The option was to visit the doctor and have him/her poke around where no one need look. Naaaa! That was not going to happen. Eventually I got unbashed enough to mention it to the closest medical personnel to me. The advice was ‘let me call doctor….’. I rolled my eyes and putting my ear piece in my ear, killed the conversation. 

Anyways I started hearing the story of the horrible pain that this condition, o yes I know now that it is called hemorrhoids, had caused people that I know well. And I am like really!  Cause even though it had persisted, I really wasn’t in any pain. Just discomfort from the knowledge that all was not well with the back side area and that made sitting for too long a very not likeable activity.

I listened in awe to the stories they were ‘sharing’ and it was as though they were talking about something totally different to what vi was going through. I wasn’t sure I would have coped well if whatever they were talking about had ailed me. And for that I am grateful.

By the way, I am much better now. Resorted to the traditional way of dealing with it. *grins*

Be inspired!

Relationships: the heart of the matter

I have had more than enough reasons to give a more cursory look at Relationships and those involved. My findings are quite interesting. Most of what I have found out tends to negate most of what I grew up gleaning from the society in which I was. Below are some thoughts to consider in the quest for that long lasting and joyous relationship.
—————
Relationships:  There is perhaps no other word loaded in the English language with so many meanings, emotions, opinions, fears, heartbreak, or joy. If you’ve ever had the privilege of experiencing great love, you know first-hand the power it has to transform virtually every facet of your life. Extraordinary relationships are not the result of good luck, great chemistry, or convenience. Rather, there are laws of love—skills we need to hone, practice, and apply—which determine the amount of fulfillment  we experience in our intimate lives.

1. The Discipline of Putting Your Lover First: It’s not about you! Put your lover’s feelings and needs first.  When you are feeling pain you are focused on yourself.

2. The Discipline of Loving No Matter What: The Power of Love, Adoration, & Praise Withholding your gift is the only source of pain.  With real love, you love through pain, joy, fear.  Love penetrates all.

3. The Discipline of Being Yourself: Emanate & Express Your Natural Essence & True Core. You can’t align with someone if you’re not being yourself or if you’re trying to be what you think they want.  You have to tell the truth! Playing small never serves.

4. The Discipline of Positive Intent: Eliminate Threats & Judgment & Remember The Power of Language Never make your partner wrong.  Know their soul.

5. The Discipline of Freedom: The Power of Forgiving, Forgetting, & Flooding Pain can only be found in yesterday’s sorrows or tomorrow’s concerns.  Flood yourself now with the beauty and magic of your life! 

6. The Discipline of Daily Intimacy: Full Engagement — Open Your Heart & Hold Nothing Back. Play wildly, courageously, tenderly, and intensely.  Fear and hurt imprison the heart.  Do the opposite of what they tell you and passion will re-ignite.

7. The Discipline of Polarity: The Power of Dancing Energies Feel, understand, and appreciate what your partner needs and serve them now.  Be her mountain.  Presence is a state where nothing shakes you.  Be his joy.  Playfulness is the gift of life.  Give your gift.

8. The Discipline of Loving Truth: The Power of Vulnerability. Give the gift of heartfelt honesty and commit to expressing it openly in this moment.

9. The Discipline of Utilisation: The Power of Higher Meaning & Constant Growth. Find the good and beauty in everything and use it to expand your love.

10. The Discipline of Gratitude & Giving: Appreciation is the Power to Experiencing life’s greatest blessings now.

Excerpts from Anthony Robbins’ Ultimate Relationship Programme

What’s your time worth?

Like most normal people of the human race, I am sure that from sun rise to sun set thoughts of different shades are filtered in the recess of your mind. Most of these thoughts, if actions leas anything to go by, are on how to maximise the days activities to produce the highest returns. In 95-98 percent of these cases of returns, we can easily agree that we talking money. Well, money makes the world go round. Or maybe not!

Before you realise it, you have spent the largest chunk of your life chasing after seemingly significant things at the mercy of the reason for the chase. We usually tell ourselves “I’ll get round to it as soon as I finish ‘this'”. Unfortunately ‘this’ never seems to have an end. Usually ‘this’ leads to ‘that’ and the main reason for which you are putting all your energies into ‘this’ never gets attended to.

What really is the worth of your time?

Just a few days ago I was forced to remind someone on the brevity of life. We want to do this, we want to be that and we allow ourselves to be swept away in the current of ‘doing’ that we fail to be who we are to that/those that really matter.

What is your time worth? 

Don’t leave till too late – when your children are grown and have no more use of your mentoring/role modelling, your parents are too old to enjoy your visits or too gone to even care, your siblings don’t even know how you are or even friends…

I can’t tell you what your time is worth; ask your wife, your husband, your children, parents, siblings, friends etc and re-evaluate  as necessary.

Things that matter more should never be at the mercy of things that matter least! Start by making your time investment, a real investment!

Living in spite of lives swings

Growing up predominately of the melancholic temperament made me, naturally, very prone to mood swings. And it was something I never understood. One minute I was the happy go lucky fellow, the next minute I just wanted to be left alone, could become aggressive and definitely irritable. You would think that having a mother who was a nurse would help? It helped sha! Because those swings led to doing some things that were ‘out of the normal’ according to mom’s book of good behaviours and so she used the cane to deliver the ‘help’. Well it didn’t help. Not one bit. I still have to deal with those swinging moods more than a quarter of a century of my earliest remembrance now of them.

I am better at understanding myself now so I don’t allow external permutations always decide which way the mood should swing. Well if it wants to push, I rather it be an external push towards a ‘make happy mood’; this type I generally let flow. And the external stimulants are as varied as eating the wrong food at the wrong or even right time, over eating, heat that I can’t define etc and then I go from sweet to sometimes down right obnoxious.

What’s your business, I am sure you would have started wondering at this point? Well nothing really, only to explain one major reason I kept to myself and made very few friends. What’s the point, I would think, they never would understand when I snap. And snapping I did so many times than I can explain why. So I minded my self and the few friends who put up with the ‘rubbish’.

Until in the not too recent past, when I came across a book, ‘why you act the way you do’ by Tim Lahaye,  and ‘gbam’, it finally hit home. And the result is a very gradual climb out of the dreadfulness of mood swings to the peace that a stable mood gives.

I was reminded of this just a few days ago when I had a chat with someone who couldn’t understand why anyone can be happy and dancing one minute and the next he is moody and not interested in doing anything but clamping up. I smiled! I have been there and even now I have to consciously ride back to the edge of my mind and jump out of the swing the moment I notice my mood is beginning to foul up.

That’s life! We all have issues we have to constantly and consciously look out for and carefully ensure it doesn’t mess up our days and life. The first step is realising you have issues, doesn’t sound comfortable-ish I know, take responsibility for it and you are almost half way done dealing with it. And you are never too old to start building that life you’ve always wanted and dreamed of.

*smiling* Live your life, now!

Keeping hope alive – the Aproko tale

Staying hopeful is such hard work, it is just a wonder that anyone tries to do it. On the other hand though is that hopelessness is so much more harder to keep up and a lot more depressing than being hopeful. How? By refusing to acknowledge anything good around and inside of you sort of. *shrugs* That is really some had work. So we work at keeping hope alive in the midst of several choking circumstances around. Living in a country such as Nigeria requires almost an extreme hoping upon hope to just keep it barely alive.

Having a chat with my cousin yesterday and she looked at me and made a very shocking and profound statement ‘I don’t know how people can keep believing Nigeria can be better’. I was flabbergasted. Not by the words, but by whose mouth it had come forth from. She’s a final year student, somewhere at the start of her twenties (the very beginning) and from at least a middle income, putting it modestly, family. She’s been to most of the countries that most of her contemporaries only dream off and I don’t know of a single lack she suffers from. Yet this remarkable, more like unremarkable statement. Needless to say I was mummified for a moment in time.

Not some heart lifting tale? I agree. But somewhere somehow, the hope still keeps burning. Even though it burns low, flickers and almost goes out, the embers seem to set ablaze another soul that keeps hope alive. And the story of another young person I have the privilege of knowing for a little more than a decade. What’s remarkable about this twenty-fourish year old? Asides the fact that he’s keeping a funny looking afro? *laughs* Well, maybe not much, but for the fact that he is finding a way to keep hope alive.

Just about a year or so ago he started this Web series( comedy) that is sort of taking the world by storm. Using meagre resources at his disposal, he’s been able to do something that has began to get the attention of quite a number of organisations and individuals in high places.

Let’s save all the talking, here are links to two of the episodes on one of Nigeria’s most popular blogs. @lindaikeji: Aproko 101,The funniest web series on http://t.co/RML0SE06x7 http://t.co/14kWnS8nzX

Have fun watching and keep hope alive.

Nigeria go survive

Nigeria go survive, Africa go survive, my people go survive o, Nigeria go survive… A song from the late eighties, but all I really want to do is snort. The fact that we have been surviving, barely just, for that long is annoying, and that is putting it out with the most tempered of all spirit.

At about the same time one Andrew wanted to check out of the country and there were those pleading with him not to check out. Whether he did or not, I do not know. It was a TV advert by the national orientation agency, a department of the ministry of information (I think). If that were real though and Andrew didn’t make that ‘checking-out’, I hope he is not living a life regretting why he listened to the ‘nosy-pokers’ and the ‘just-trying-to-help’ but won’t mind their business supposed helpers, doing all to avoid ever talking about what happened years back.

It is becoming increasingly difficult to know for certainty if we have a country and a ‘democratically’ elected leadership as they claim, or just a ship with a captain but without a rudder. More than ever our case is one of the more you look the less you see. The more you try to understand (why 70 percent of budget spending goes to recurrent expenditure? Whose pockets are the budgetary allocations Education, Security and Agriculture really lining? Why a bunch of ‘fanatics’ are allowed to hold the rest of the country to ransom? and a lot of whys that may never get answered) the less any of it all makes any sense.

We have been surviving so long, or trying to is more the word, that it is hard for one born in this country and with no exposure to western civilisation to believe it is not what it is meant to be. I heard of the C-in-C’s ‘dance’ steps when he took to the stage in a particular state to rally votes for his party. Only problem with the frolicking, not like there ever seems to be no problem, is that it was less than 48hrs after a terrorist group set up a bomb that killed not less than a 100 innocent civilians in broad day light. Yet the commander-in-chief goes-a-dancing! I smile in disgust. I won’t ask the obvious question of if he would have done same if a relative was affected. Ouch, I just asked.

And the clowning at the confab? I couldn’t believe how much time is spent on repeating each others point of observation, correction and just a whole lot of verbose sentences that carried little meaning at the very best. When about 90 percent of the delegates, this figure is entirely mine based on what I saw, have crossed the average life expectancy of Nigerians and are closer to their end than where they started for, I really hope something ‘future-centred’ and hope inspiring comes out of the entire ‘show’. I won’t write it off yet as just another way to pay ‘fans’ for their loyalty.

And just to prove that Nigerians get used to lousy service and inhumane conditions really fast, not one of my contacts put up a personal message on their bbm to complain about the poor quality of the blackberry service/network these past few of days. As it always has happened, we are getting used to the ‘situation’ and just can’t be bothered. Or can we? *shrugs*

Nigeria will survive…

The Happiness Killers!

It is so easy for jealousy, envy and bitterness to surreptitiously move into our hearts and build a home there more than we can ever realise. I know most people will be very quick in shaking their heads at this; I hear you. Take a very honest heart test and search out these three things and you’ll be surprised just what you find.

A simple case like someone you know seeming to get ahead of you, someone sharing a testimony that seems to be God answering your prayers but some other person getting the blessing? Yeah, it takes more than a lot to stay jealous, envy and bitterness free.

However, there is so much blessing to go round. Rather than getting into a ‘Down’ mood, get into a praise mood. The evidence of these in the life of others is proof enough that there is availability of it for you. It may be tough starting out, but learning to and rejoicing with those rejoicing is a way to prepare to receiving yours.

Smile bigly today, it is one more day short of the delivery days of your desires. Cheers!